Choosing Your Battles.

I spent the past two years studying social work in a graduate program. During my first-year field placement, I remember venting to a fellow intern about a problem and she told me I needed to learn how to choose my battles. It’s like a lightbulb went off in my head when she told me this. I didn’t have to be so defensive or angry about everything. Despite my so-called epiphany, this is something I still continue to struggle with. But I’ve learned a few things on the road to learning to choose my battles wisely.

Let some things go. Not everything needs to be addressed. You can create an argument or disagreement about ANYTHING. I’m sure people who know me may believe I argue about a lot of things, but you’d be surprised to discover how many things bother me and I simply let it go.

Let some people go. Not everyone needs to remain in your life; some people you need to let go of because they are not a battle worth fighting. Something I try to keep in mind is whether or not people add to your life, or take away. If it is primarily the latter, then *snip snip*. And like the saying goes, avoid negative people at all costs. Misery loves company.

Think of the pros and cons. This will help you choose your battles wisely. If the cons outweigh the pros (either in length or in severity), then let the battle go. Take the “L.” There’s beauty in accepting defeat when you know it will help you maintain a peace of mind :). *** Please keep in mind that I am talking about small scale battles, not BIG battles like fighting an oppressive system. With larger scale battles, the cons will outweigh the pros when you think about short-term… but long-term? The pros will definitely outweigh the cons!

Of course there’s more to add on this list but I am in the beginning stages of this journey. How do you know when to fight a battle or let it go? What are some ways you remain grounded while fighting a battle (relationship, family, friends, work, school, etc)?

2 Responses to Choosing Your Battles.
  1. Kay Reply

    Ah! I know this subject all too well. On the road through life there are many challenges, and this seems to be the most popular. Letting someone get the best of you shows sign of vulnerability. There are people in this world that love to bring others out of character just because their miserable. You have to allow others to go through their BS by themselves. Leave them to argue by themselves and watch them as they look ridiculous. There is a big difference between an argument and debate. So once you can identify the two then you know what to do from there.

    1. Agree with everything they say, whether you agree or not. I call it washing my hands of the situation and moving on. The issue wont come to an end unless the bigger person ends it.

    2. Ignore them as if they don’t exist to you. They may call you obnoxious, but who cares. You don’t have to deal with it. You know whats best for you.

    3. You know who you are, don’t allow anyone to try to school you. Smile and keep them in suspense. Keep them guessing. They may probe and dissect you, but you keep it moving.

    I always follow these rules in life. I’ve been called a bitch and whatever else they feel like throwing at me. I just know that I can do a lot of other things than to deal with people I don’t need or want in my life. Life is too short, and your life is in its golden state. Enjoy it!

  2. Yasmine Reply

    I apologize in my delay in responding, but I wanted to say thank you so much for your thoughtful and helpful response. I will definitely keep these suggestions in mind :).

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