Platonic Friendships

Every now and again, I read someone’s status on Facebook asserting that true platonic friendships do not exist. There are various kinds of platonic friendships, but I’m focusing on platonic friendships between heterosexual people of the opposite sex. Some people genuinely believe that men and women cannot be friends; if they are in fact friends, one of them has feelings for the other person but hasn’t acted on them. I have also heard that regardless of how the friendship is formed, at some point one person is bound to catch feelings. What do you think?

I agree that sometimes friendships become something more. I believe that there are friendships out there where someone has been placed in the friend-zone and there are feelings involved in the friendship. I also believe, however, that there are platonic friendships out there where there is no desire for the other person… no romantic feelings whatsoever. I believe that because I have a friendship like that.

There’s nothing romantic about my friendship with my male bestie. No interest. I talk to him like I talk to one of my female friends. I think he talks to me like one of his male friends, but I really don’t know haha. As I sit here thinking about our friendship, I ask myself what makes it possible? Is the fact that we don’t hang out a lot since we live in different places? Is it the fact that we met through a mutual friend? Is it the lack of attraction (not to say we are unattractive people… because we aren’t *flips hair, Makia style*). I really don’t know what the right ingredients are, but we have it. I honestly do feel as though if there’s attraction within friendships with the opposite sex, then problems are bound to happen… because I think with attraction comes those “what if,” thoughts. Well, I feel as though I am just rambling on. Point is. Males and females can be just friends because I’m living proof. I know I’m not unique in this situation. What do you think? Can males and females be just friends? What do you need (or not need) to have a strictly platonic friendship with the opposite sex? #letmeknow your thoughts.

Choosing Your Battles.

I spent the past two years studying social work in a graduate program. During my first-year field placement, I remember venting to a fellow intern about a problem and she told me I needed to learn how to choose my battles. It’s like a lightbulb went off in my head when she told me this. I didn’t have to be so defensive or angry about everything. Despite my so-called epiphany, this is something I still continue to struggle with. But I’ve learned a few things on the road to learning to choose my battles wisely.

Let some things go. Not everything needs to be addressed. You can create an argument or disagreement about ANYTHING. I’m sure people who know me may believe I argue about a lot of things, but you’d be surprised to discover how many things bother me and I simply let it go.

Let some people go. Not everyone needs to remain in your life; some people you need to let go of because they are not a battle worth fighting. Something I try to keep in mind is whether or not people add to your life, or take away. If it is primarily the latter, then *snip snip*. And like the saying goes, avoid negative people at all costs. Misery loves company.

Think of the pros and cons. This will help you choose your battles wisely. If the cons outweigh the pros (either in length or in severity), then let the battle go. Take the “L.” There’s beauty in accepting defeat when you know it will help you maintain a peace of mind :). *** Please keep in mind that I am talking about small scale battles, not BIG battles like fighting an oppressive system. With larger scale battles, the cons will outweigh the pros when you think about short-term… but long-term? The pros will definitely outweigh the cons!

Of course there’s more to add on this list but I am in the beginning stages of this journey. How do you know when to fight a battle or let it go? What are some ways you remain grounded while fighting a battle (relationship, family, friends, work, school, etc)?

Keep Your Hands to Yourself.

Keep your hands to yourself. IT’S THAT SIMPLE. Who hit who first would not matter if people simply respected everyone else and kept their hands to themselves. That’s what’s ideal, right? Too bad we do not live in an idealistic society. The Ray Rice “controversy” (if you can even call it a controversy) has caused an uproar… in my newsfeed, that is lol. I’ve seen some pretty ignorant posts. I’ve seen some thoughtful posts. I know a lot of people are tired of the conversation BUT I think it is important to talk about domestic violence rather than continue to sweep it under the rug. We don’t like talking about issues that really matter. Is it because it is mostly viewed as a “women’s issue?” *#kanyeshrug

The only thing I want to emphasize is that there is NO excuse for what he did. I understand people are raised in an abusive environment and may think things are normal… but come on. He’s an adult. He’s grown. He ought to know better by now unless he has been living under a rock. My view is that putting your hands on someone is a last resort, self-defense measure. When you have the opportunity, you WALK away. He had plenty of room and opportunity to walk away or even restrain her if necessary. Yes, she was wrong for slapping him. I whole-heartedly agree. And perhaps in that moment, he should have said, “You’re tripping, I’m going for a walk,” or something along those lines. We don’t know their history or what happened prior to them being outside of the elevator. We are merely spectators. All we see is what was provided in the video. And my conclusion remains the same: both of them should have kept their hands to themselves. We’re taught that as children. Let’s take it with us to adulthood, mmkay? :)

As for the consequences for his actions… Phew. That’s another blogpost that can go in so many directions. I don’t even want to talk about how problematic it is that people are actually defending his actions (i.e. if you’re bold enough to hit a man you deserve to get hit back). So I’ll leave that alone… for now.

Reviving Alittlequirky

Okay. I know back in 2012 I was supposed to bring aLITTLEquirky back. I don’t know what happened. It was the summer. I was working a summer camp and preparing to begin graduate school. I had started a new relationship. I’m going to just say life was pretty busy and my little blog got placed on the back burner. Now that grad school is over, I feel a little bit rejuvenated and am super excited to revive aLITTLEquirky. Most of my blogging buddies are gone, but I look forward to finding new blogs to read :). As for LB and Gee Kay… I’m not sure if they’ll be making any posts, but I’ve decided to keep their posts up. I know Gee Kay says she’s going to start blogging again, but I’ll believe it when I see it lol. A real post is coming soon, but I wanted to start this process of reviving the website by saying, I’m baaaaaacck.